i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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