is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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