the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
