There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Drunk is not a location!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
