Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize