I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
