We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
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i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
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I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
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