he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize