Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
