I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
