She's JV to your varsity
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
