I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
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I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
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My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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