about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
