eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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