you traded sex for a burrito?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
