you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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