so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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