So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize