if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
