im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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