YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
