So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
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