Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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