"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
