You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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