My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
