i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I want to fling myself into the sun
I would fuck him just for his dog
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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