dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
