I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
