I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
