I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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