Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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