I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
