ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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