Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
