Will you blow on my dice?
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
