seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
