So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
