I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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