just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
