How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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