he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize