You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize