Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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