Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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