Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
