she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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