drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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