Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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