from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
