Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
