big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
