dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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