shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
