so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
