I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
