Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
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