Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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