I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
